19 April, 2006
ive never been more skeptical about myself in my whole life.

if there's one thing that ive learned from this all, its that giving a speech not well-prepared in front of the entire school population and the 'principal tt only knows how to build toilets' (according to wangmo) three times in a day and answering the questions tt i kena shot cripples confidence tt took 16+ years to build.

im so tired. in more ways than one. if i dont take a break soon(like now) i will break down and go crazy.

elainehong has witnessed signs of the looming lunacy.

this is not an excuse. im not kidding.

im not saying im not able to cope with all this stuff. i can. i will. im that determined. but im only human, u know. my number might be perfect ten but im not. im trying, and it takes great courage out of anyone who attempts so. most people are smart enough not to try. but not me. im a silly fool who just wants to 'serve with honour'. sheesh. i swear if i hear that cheesy phrase one more time i will go hysterical and run mad around the sch and bashing the person who says that againandagainandagain(if the rules allow me to).

rules cramp my style, wadthehell... thank god for art. it keeps me lunatically sane.

do not underestimate the symbolism of the ugly red tie.

7:56 pm*